In Loving Memory


My father, Barry M. Farber, passed away on May 6, one day after his 90th birthday.

He was a unique, generous, wildly funny and brilliant man with an insatiable curiosity and an unparalleled love for foreign languages.

I tweeted this the night he died:

He gave me the three magic words to carry in my pocket as a journalist, starting at the age of 18, when I reconnected with him after 8 years in Sweden.

The words were: “Penetrate The Ostensible.”

I will be posting about him here in the coming days.

In the meantime, here is the New York Times obituary and a tribute from the very talented radio host Frank Morano.

My plan is to carry on as he would have wanted me to, and “penetrate the ostensible.”

He also said to me once: “Nothing is more fun than fighting evil.”

I’d never thought of it as “fun” before. Not exactly.

But I do now.

I love you Daddy.

10 thoughts on “In Loving Memory”

  1. That was beautiful.

    You’re very lucky Celia. In a lot of ways.
    You and your father were allowed to spend a great deal of time together, and he was more than a bit of a legend. That alone.

  2. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be and I am so sorry. He was a wonderful person and will be missed. Just know that our sympathy is with you in your time of grieving. Please take care of yourself and thank you for everything that you do.

  3. Celia,

    What a precious, loving statement on Daddy’s vision and contribution.

    I love that you are so beautifully expressing this, in this post and beyond.

    Thank you!


  4. Celia Ingrid Farber, when I saw and felt your words about your loss, in the email from Truth Barrier, that loss became an immediate pain in my own senses; a pain of hurting with some measure/some semblance of Celia Ingrid Farber’s loss.

    Reverently, your pain of your loss will be in me, today, tomorrow, and evermore.

    I wish you the sacred and exquisitely enriching power of deeply impassioned grief (the exquisitely enriching power of remembering).

    The supreme wounding has arrived.

    That wounding, and the never ending healing, and the never ending remembering, are the lingering of Love, the lingering of the supreme element of consciousness.


    Long may Love linger, for you, and for your Daddy, together.

    Together, in all your future’s days and nights.

    You and he will always be together, and always have each other near.

    All peace and all blessings, for you, is my prayer to the Sacred.

    Such loss is not easy, but such enrichment by memory is glorious beyond compare.

    The road goes on, with you and your Daddy, together.

    The gift is not taken. It only moves to somewhere deeper inside.

    1. “The supreme wounding has arrived.”

      It is isn’t it, like an inevitable sword to one’s heart. My mother died in 1999. Now the two woundings are complete. Thank you so much for these words.

  5. A wonderful man has passed on.

    Yes – those are such true words (the joy that can come up, in fighting evil).

    And you do it so well.

    Thanks for your hard work – even when it’s probably mostly unpaid.

    May it continue to bring you joy.

    1. Thank you Scott. We will all keep moving toward the joy. I’m milder now. Less combative, I think. Barry was loved by all. Except maybe Ed Koch. lol

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